I am going out on a limb here to say that I have begun a casual relationship. It is early days and anything could happen. Tomorrow I could be ghosted yet again, but for now, a little something has begun. I am just superstitious enough to worry that if I say too much it will all blow up.

At the start, I thought I would just try out this online dating thing and see what would transpire. What became clear to me as I machete-ed my way through the online jungle known as Match.com, (Bumble has been a more positive experience for me), was the answer to what do I want?

At the start, I was not sure if I even wanted to date. Living alone had been difficult at first. Now, I’m enjoying my lifestyle. I come and go as I please and I’m finding it easier to appreciate the selfish luxury of day to day life where all the decisions and compromises are my own. Like cereal for supper should I so choose. (I don’t… but I could…)

I have to give credit to the experience of all those conversations with my ‘matches’. It was through those negotiations, flirtations, trepidations, and rejections, (both ways) that I gradually came to realize and embrace what I really want. Or don’t want. I know (for now) that I do not want any pressure to merge my life with any one else. I’ve come up with my own definition of what I want from a casual relationship and I’ve been lucky enough (so far) to find someone who is on the same page. (For now).

Yes, all this is riddled with caution. If I’ve learned anything from online dating it is to proceed with cautious optimism, expect the unexpected, and learn to shrug it off. It’s never personal. It’s them not you, and vice versa. It can be frustrating, but it’s often fun, and with the right lens, it’s frequently downright funny.

There will be no posts for the next two weeks while I take myself on vacation.

Stay safe everyone.

Anne Milne is an every Sunday blogger.  Facebook or Twitter.