Flirting. lol.
There are stages I’ve noticed to this online dating thing. If the polite back and forth lobbing of questions never gets beyond a tedious call and response, then the thread thins out and both parties seem to let it go. However, if any connection or spark gets ignited on the site, then the next move is to get off the site and onto texting, and/or phone calls.
If the texting is going well, the flirting starts. And why not? The entire purpose is to date, right?
Well, flirting has changed a bit since I was last a vivacious flirtaholic. (Decades ago). I recall flirting as being a fun way to get to know someone, get a spark going, and to test boundaries. In those olden, golden days, flirting was full of innuendo, double entendres, and wordplay. A key aspect was to show off your personality, your sense of humour, and make each other laugh.
Fast forward to flirting via texts… To be fair, half the fun is missing because there is no eye contact or body language. An ‘lol’ is a weak and tepid response compared to hearing someone laugh, or erupting yourself. And overuse of emojis can get mighty boring. They are a poor substitute for genuine wit.
But beyond the lols and the emoji’s, (in my very limited experience, I mean, I’ve only been on the site for 2 months) it seems good old fashioned flirting gets bypassed in favour of talking directly about sex. It puts me in mind of a lyric in a Pointer Sister’s song about a booty call — “You sure want a lot for your dime.”
To use common texting vernacular, IMHO, going straight for a discussion about sexual preferences takes the fun out of flirting. Especially if we haven’t even met yet. It’s not that I want to be peeking coyly out from behind my fan, but isn’t a discussion of what you like to have happen in bed better suited to take place in person? Also shouldn’t that be a talk you have after the decision to have sex has been agreed upon? Am I wrong here? Did I miss something in the past decades?
When I’m asked what turns me on I’m sorely tempted to reply, “Full sentences. I’m really turned on by full sentences. Give me a well placed semi-colon coupled with the tender use of an exclamation point, and I’m yours.”
Stay safe everyone.
I have been looking at Peggy Lee music this morning and one of her song titles seems to fit here … I Don’t Know You Well Enough!
Well, that sounds worth a listen. Thank you!
Sorry Anne I really to have to put in an LOL hear – what a funny session this time –
and a bit scary to think that discussing the nitty gritty before even meeting a potential date is way to much IMHO.
Again thank you for sharing – it has been such a delight reading this.
I agree – language can be extremely seductive – and full sentences are the way to go. My problem is that I am not precise and concise
. Feel free to edit!
An LOL from you is graciously accepted. Thank you for such a generous comment.
I would think that a text about sex, before meeting in person, is a red flag. There is so much more to a relationship when you are in your 50s and 60s. I guess I am old fashioned too.
Yes, somethings are best left for an in person discussion. There is not enough context with texting to get too personal. Thank you for commenting, Krista.