Online dating has started to remind me of high school dances where the boys I wished would ask me to dance never glanced in my direction. But as soon as Stairway to Heaven came on the ones I wished would leave me alone made a beeline in my direction. I’m sure most of you can relate. Tis an age old woe, and the opening scene to many a romcom.

I click on the search page — which looks like a high school yearbook of mugshots. The ones whom I like don’t respond and the ones that send me a like, well… Okay, I’m exaggerating. 

As I gain a little more experience and insight into the online dating forum, I can recognize it as a community the same as any other. Everyone is participating for basically the same reasons. Aside from what I think about the bad photos and poorly written profiles, everyone is putting their best foot forward in the best way they know how. As I’ve said before, it’s a challenge for everybody.

Community is about connection, belonging, and group interaction. Online dating is, and must be, one to one interactions only. Two people trying to get to know each other from absolute scratch. On paper. No community reference.

In the past when people could meet potential dating partners at work, or the gym, or the same bar, there was the advantage of seeing the person live, experiencing how they interact not only with yourself, but how they interact with others. There was the added value of learning someone’s general reputation.

Texting and email exchanges run the gamut from downright boring to absolutely engaging and enticing. The boring exchanges just seem to die out on their own. The fun and flirty texts are the ones, in my case, you most want to meet, or at least video call with. And there you are… face to face, and in seconds, any digital frisson that existed via text just fizzles. 

Snap, crackle, pop… drop. Next?

Physical attraction cannot be duplicated via text. This much I have learned. Thank goodness it’s only a coffee and not a slow dance to Stairway to Heaven.

Stay safe everyone.

Anne Milne is an every Sunday blogger.  Facebook or Twitter.