In nature, all females mate. Not all males do, hence the term rogue bear or rogue elephant. Hold that thought while we talk about ghosts for a moment.

I’ve been ‘live’ on this online dating site since December 1. Akin to passing notes in grade five it works like this; I like you. Do you like me? Check yes or no. 

Right off the bat someone whom I liked first, liked me back. It was great fun talking with this person. We connected, we found lots in common. We were soon talking on the phone and texting…

And then, no response to my text. I sent out a test text the next day — no response. I was indignant. Being ‘ghosted’ means someone just stops communicating without offering any explanation. It is unnerving and rather confusing because the ghostee is left wondering why?

In one of our conversations I had asked this person what would be a deal breaker for him in a relationship. Rudeness he said. Oh sweet irony.

I figure it takes two for ghosting to work. As the ghostee, I am supposed to meekly accept this digital snub and drift away. I chose instead to send one final text identifying that I was aware he had moved on. I told him some of his questions had helped me clarify what I am looking for, I said thank you, wished him all the best and exited. 

I’m a class act sometimes. Imagine. Me being ghosted. What an idiot.

With a different contact, we are presently typing back and forth on the site, no texting, no talking yet. He seems to be the proverbial ‘nice guy’. He’s a business owner, has travelled, likes to cook, blah-diddy blah blah blah. After he mansplained to me what ‘the Troubles’ in Ireland were I realized how very bored I was. I will make a polite exit. 

I will not ever ghost anyone after we have chatted. The challenge will be to find a polite but firm way to sign off. 

Which brings us back to the rogues. It’s difficult for any of us to reach out in a way that will compel the other party to respond, I get that, but some of these men stumble right out of the gate. As an example, most participants use a fake name, myself included. Rogues, (in my opinion only), are the ones who choose monikers like ‘MisterWonderful’ (facetiously I assume) or ‘HooterInspector’, (FFS!) Those earn an immediate delete from my search page. This is natural selection at work.

I am signed up for three months on this site. I can’t guarantee I’ll make it.

Stay safe everyone.

Anne Milne is an every Sunday blogger.  Facebook or Twitter.