A few years after my Mother died, my Father had lunch with a widow he had known for years. He asked her if she ever thought about getting married again. Her response was quick and direct — “At my age they’re looking for a nurse or a purse and I want no part of either”. Those are legitimate concerns for women and men of a certain age entering into the dating field.

Last week I said I pictured online dating as some sort of jungle, full of rats and vipers… Well I was wrong. It’s not a jungle of rats and vipers. It’s a vast arid desert, stretching on for miles and miles. The view quickly gets boring. I don’t need a machete. I need a canteen.

I have taken advice from two friends who both have online dating experience. They both talked about the number of people who post terrible pictures of themselves (out of focus, sunglasses on, or my personal favourite, — a close up of themselves looking at their keyboard). To make matters worse, most people have difficulty writing a clear and accurate description of themselves. I agree, it is hard to do.

My first attempt at writing a profile of myself was short, wishy-washy, and a little too coy. My male friend responded with a phone call and literally blasted me. Blasted me! He said that sweet little descriptor did nothing to say who I really am. It didn’t reveal anything about my personality, being a ‘cerebral’ (his word!) and challenging woman, or really anything. He was right. The problem with a cute little profile is it is too generic. Everyone in the desert likes it. His advice was to write something that would attract who I am looking for.

So I rewrote my profile to tell it like I am. I talked about the number of careers I have had, including comic creator. I let it be known how much I like the ballet, how much I read, and why I like to read. It is at least a page long. It is direct and, at my friend’s behest, I upped the vocabulary. If someone can’t be bothered to read the whole thing, or if they are scared off by the ballet, my love of books, or my robust cerebellum, then good. I stopped short of specifying that I will never do their laundry. We must save some surprises.

Some people are not comfortable writing an email, let alone trying to write a description of themselves; most profiles are a list of characteristics, ‘I am warm, funny, loyal and honest’. Many sound needy and a little desperate… ‘I want to meet a sincere lady for handholding and cuddles’ — a nurse or a purse. The sound of loneliness is deafening.

These are my impressions so far; I have higher hopes for week two as I get more comfortable with this process.

Stay safe everyone.

Anne Milne is an every Sunday blogger.  Facebook or Twitter.