Transmogrifications
Calvin, of the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes made good use of his transmogrifier — a cardboard box which had the power to transmogrify himself into a new being — a pterodactyl perhaps. He was still Calvin, but he was Calvin in a new form.
I’ve been a widow for over a year now. If I do say so myself, I’ve done a good job of ‘moving on’. But I much prefer to think of my situation as a transmogrification. I’m still me but in a new format.
We all make transmogrifications throughout our lifetimes; student to employee, single to married, married to widowed, married to unmarried, children, etc, etc. By the time middle age arrives we’ve all had a few of these changes.
I transmogrified my career a few times. My favourite joke being that I went from bleeding heart liberal to capitalist pig. (A gross exaggeration at both ends of the spectrum, but a humorous way to describe the transition from social service worker to stock broker). I think I took most of those changes for granted and waltzed my way from one career to the other, always thinking “It can’t be that hard” — even though sometimes it was definitely that hard.
“Moving on” is a common phrase to describe the process of a life changing event. I prefer to think of the possibilities of a Calvinesque transmogrification; step into the box, choose what to transmogrify into and step out the other side.
Life changes create possibilities if you’re willing to get into the transmogrifier.
Stay safe everyone.
John Roedel wrote about all of us being like moonlight on the water. He said we were at our best when inviting the clouds to leave. We aren’t just pain and anxiety and regret if we open the door to the possibilities. I have made different life choices these last two years. I thought I knew who I was, only to find out I am like a change-ling. My life wasn’t over just because I became a widow over four years ago. I have learned to play pool, see music very differently, re-live old movies through new eyes, fall in love again, and because of all that, I am a better partner, friend and mother and grandmother. Not everything has been easy. Romance at a senior age comes with medical drama. It also comes with losing friends who think I have changed. I was always there, standing before them. Did they only see who they thought I was? Now, it seems, I don’t fit into a mold. My partner’s friends have embraced me with open arms and without judgement. What makes my friends different from his? I have a few theories but no real answers. When one door shuts, another opens. Walk through it, it is just a door.
Hello Barb, You impress me. Changes are never as easy. You have managed your changes brilliantly and moved forward (I dislike the phrase moving on…) as you chose. I am happy to hear you are enjoying your choices to walk through those doors. Thank you for such a lovely and personal comment.
Well said, both you and Barb.
Thank you. I can’t speak to Barb’s experience, but I am grateful for the support I had, and continue to have.