Would the Dalai Lama be as famous as he is if he hadn’t been exiled from Tibet after China’s invasion? It’s an interesting question; most of us have similar, if less dramatic, questions about our own lives. “How different would life be if I had gone to X school instead of Y school?” Or chosen a different career, a different spouse, or, ‘if only’ something-or-other had never happened…

In April of 2004 my friend and I went to see the Dalai Lama speak at the CNE in Toronto. He had expected to lead a nice quiet life as a monk, “And then all this happened…”

How many of us expected our life to go in one direction, but we were hijacked to a totally different place? He portrayed no bitterness or regret for the life he has had, versus the life he had expected. He told of people he had met who had all the material wealth anyone could want and yet they were taking anti-depressants. (He admitted to peeking in their medicine cabinet when he found the door ajar.) His talk was a gentle reminder that happiness is independent of circumstance.

Sometimes the gods of the algorithms bring gifts. Recently, in one of my feeds, the Dalai Lama’s five rules for living appeared. They are simple, lovely, and logical;

1. Serve the tea; offer tiny kindnesses and acts of serving others with generosity.
2. Show your teeth; smile more often, and when you smile, smile genuinely.
3. Change places; think about the troubles of others and wish them well.
4. Think, don’t just feel; if there is a remedy, then what’s the use of frustration? If there is no remedy then what is the use of frustration?
5. Let it go; taking offence is like grabbing a burning ember to throw at someone.

Keep your joy.

Anne Milne is an every Sunday blogger, unless it’s a holiday weekend. Or summertime. Facebook or email.