Dreaming, by Jozef Israëls

I don’t know for sure, but I think just about every human on the planet has their own personal ‘if only’ story.

When I was 14 years old my ‘if only’ story was “If only I could gain ten pounds everything in my life would be perfect”. 

It was not the ten pounds, it was the belief in what the ten pounds represented to me.  And those ten pounds represented confidence.  I believed I could not possibly have any confidence being as skinny as I was.  All my personal power was given over to that elusive ten pounds.

‘If only’ has a cousin called ‘what if’.  What if I had gained those ten pounds at age 14?  Would it really have changed anything?  I like to think it would have eased my self consciousness and perhaps I could have entered high school with a little more self confidence.  Perhaps.  The other more likely option is I would have found some other problem with myself to focus on and blame for my life not being perfect…

I have to forgive my 14 year old self for being so bent on those ten blessed pounds, but if I had realized that skinny girls can be as confident as they want to be I might have left that ‘if only’ behind.  I just didn’t know.    

Every once in a while as an adult, I catch myself thinking a new ‘if only’.  If the power of the ‘if only’ resides in the belief of the ‘if only’ then the solution is to recognize it for what it is.  ‘If only’ thinking puts your personal power to change yourself or your circumstances on hold while you dream about ‘if only…’

Power to change is possible regardless of your circumstances. Or your weight.

Do you have any ‘if onlys’ you are aware of?

If only I could draw at the speed of light!  This week’s instalment has been posted at  Contentment is for Cows.

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