My father was still working full time at age 68. When I asked him if he was thinking at all about retirement, he answered that every retired person he knew was dead, and he couldn’t picture a future for himself without work. Case closed.

He did eventually retire at age 78, not because he couldn’t continue working but because my mother was ill and he chose to take care of her. This parallels my own situation; I didn’t choose to retire so much as I drifted into it little by little, reducing my hours and type of employment to allow for more time to be home with my husband.

Retirement is often defined as a way of life. When I was working in the financial planning industry, the fantasy of running barefoot down the beach at age 55 was the standard retirement goal every investor was supposed to aim for. The inside industry joke was that it was not the client who was running down the beach… (It was the advisor.)

A good piece of advice on how to enjoy a successful retirement is to be future focussed. Let go of describing yourself in terms of previous job titles. Find a future that requires your skills and input.

Or not. Many retirees embrace their new freedom with open arms. They settle right into it, they love the extra time on the golf course, or the opportunity to be the best grandparent they can be. Personally, I love waking up without an alarm clock but I have struggled with feeling unproductive.

Retirement, widowhood and covid lockdowns all coincided for me. My challenge, and to be honest, I needed the time and perspective to even see it as a challenge, was to envision a future that would make use of my skills, keep me engaged and one in which I would be proud to call my “third act”. I am aware I need to cut myself some slack here. Grief, adjusting to being alone, and moving to a new city took up a lot of my mental and emotional time and space.

This past year I took a part time job for sociability and mad money. It had some fun moments but for the most part I didn’t feel it was a good fit. Every day I showed up, ready and cheerful, but the bulk of the tasks held little appeal. When the job didn’t work out for the longer term, my first thought–or maybe my second thought was,

“What an enormous waste of my time and energy.” And then,

“What if I put that amount of time and energy into my own stuff? What would that look like?”

Well, it looks and feels pretty good. I’ve written, edited, polished, and submitted two short stories into two separate contests and a third story is in production; after lagging far behind on my study-at-your-own-pace writing course, I’m about to finish year one and have signed up for year two.

This next sentence will mark the first time I’ve said (written) these thoughts out loud. After all my careers (more than a few), and all my other transmogrifications (many), I feel I’m doing what I should be doing; I’m a writer who is future focussed on becoming an author.

I will be taking a Christmas break, returning January 14, 2024 with a special Ten Year Anniversary edition! Yup, you heard me. Contentment is for Cows is ten years old.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Keep your joy.

Anne Milne is an every Sunday blogger, unless it’s a holiday weekend. Or summertime. Facebook or email.