In online dating profiles, I can’t help noticing how many men boast about their ability to be sarcastic, as in, “I speak fluent sarcasm.” Or, “Sarcasm is my second language.”

First, situations may be ironic, but only people can be sarcastic. Second, people may be unintentionally ironic, but sarcasm requires intention. What is essential to sarcasm is that it is overt irony intentionally used by the speaker as a form of verbal aggression.

John Haiman

Anyone who has ever spent time with a surly teenager can tell you that relentless sarcasm gets tedious very quickly. Adolescents love to be sarcastic because it bites the others around them and not a lot of work is involved to get the hang of it. 

Sarcasm can be used to humorous effect, but as the above definition points out, it relies on a negative twist of irony. I employ sarcasm when trying to point out the lack of logic in a situation, as in, “Shall we make this mistake one more time, or shall we try a new mistake?” 

Humour on the hand takes skill. To be able to see the ‘funny’ in a situation and articulate it in the moment is a worthy character trait. Most comedians say it is a challenge to write a joke that works.

“I’m 5’4”.  …I know. I’m as upset about it as you are.”

Dating Profile

That line has to be the best ever introduction in a dating profile. It says so much about who the man is — or at least it lets us know he has a charming sense of humour.

Speaking for myself, I don’t want to swipe right on someone who thinks their use of sarcasm is a virtue. As for the short man with the self-deprecating sense of humour? I swiped left but I smiled as I did so.

Stay safe everyone.

Anne Milne is an every Sunday blogger, unless it’s a holiday weekend. Or summertime. Facebook or email.