Years ago, on a hot summer day in the office, I pinned my hair up for a change. A male colleague paused in my doorway to ask, “Is it prom night tonight, Anne?”

Female friends don’t tease each other in the same way as male friends. Likewise, male friends offer up a different type of support than female friends do. I can’t imagine any of my male friends sitting down for an evening of wine and conversation without a hockey game on. But that’s what makes male friends so special. When it comes to dishing out advice, they often just get to the point and move on. Male energy in a nutshell. 

Bottom line, it really shouldn’t matter whether friends are the same gender or are non-binary, gay or trans. The point of it is, what is the value in the relationship? Beyond enjoying each other’s company, can your friend give you honest direct advice, and vice versa? Will you hear it?

I recently told a group of female friends this story; a young male friend was engaged. His fiancee made a small scene at a restaurant and abruptly walked out. Our mutual male friend looked at the young fiancee left behind at the table and said bluntly, “I’d fix that before I married it.” Now, before all you female readers get your hackles up in the same way my friends did — yes, it was a blunt force statement, and the lack of pronouns was offensive. However, knowing the man who said it, I understood his intention. Translated to ‘female-speak’ in the same situation, the advice would sound more like this; “Has he done this before? Are you sure he’s the man for you?” Same intention, different energy. Male versus female, both right. Vive le difference.

In my online dating posts I mentioned the advice I received from male friends. They provided an invaluable perspective that was very different from what my female friends were saying. My male friends were blunt, direct, and supportive all at once. It speaks to the value in diversity whether it’s corporations hiring for diversity or small potatoes diversity in a mix of friends.

By the way, my friend who teased me about my hair and prom night? Once he wondered aloud if he didn’t wear his wedding ring would people think he was gay? My answer? “Not with that haircut.”

Stay safe everyone.

Anne Milne is an every Sunday blogger.  Facebook or Twitter.