My Grandmother used to put tea out for her three boys. The tea would go on the table alongside bread, butter and jam. “You can ha’e butter, or you can ha’e jam, but you canna ha’e both.” 

I am downsizing from my house to a much smaller living space which means a considerable downsizing of possessions, things, belongings, and stuff. 

What a process. 

The toughest choices have been letting go of furniture pieces that have some family history attached. My Grandfather, husband to the ‘butter or jam’ wife, bought himself a desk somewhere back in the later 1940’s, I’m guessing. He was a cabinet maker, but this desk was not made from his hand. He bought it. For years it was in his messy studio where he used to relax painting landscapes. 

Fast forward to my situation. I have two desks. My Grandfather’s, and one I bought a number of years ago. My new space will not accommodate both. I have to choose.

In making my decision to forego my Grandfather’s desk, (and my Aunt’s lovely art-deco-ish custom built wall unit) I considered the circumstances under which these items were purchased. 

Both of these people, Aunt and Grandfather went out shopping to chose exactly what they needed and wanted at the time to fit their respective spaces. Now, it is my turn and neither of those ancestors would begrudge me foregoing my preferences in favour of things they chose for themselves so many years ago.

The desk is utilitarian. Square, solid wood with built-in bookshelves on the side. When my Grandfather made this purchase I’m certain that in no way did he think he was buying a family heirloom. I don’t think he would want me to keep it out of obligation because it had been his. 

I loved Grandfather. The desk reminds me of him, but so will a picture on the wall. I canna ha’e both desks; I have chosen mine.

There are other pieces of furniture I’m keeping that have history and family sentiment. My point is to free myself of the obligation of keeping furniture for sentiment, not choice.  

Stay safe everyone.

Anne Milne is an every Sunday blogger.  Temporarily, this blog will be focussed on telling our cancer story. Please share if you know someone who may benefit. Facebook or Twitter.