Last week’s post Not In Her Repertoire got me to thinking about two words that I say far too often, and I really don’t like to hear them said to me.

“You should.”

When those two words are said to me, I find myself shutting down and not listening. In the privacy of my mind I might even be saying something like, “You should shut up.”

What is it about ‘you should’? Is it being told what to do, or is it because ‘you should’ sentences are often unsolicited advice? Even if we have asked for advice and the response begins with “You should…”, is it harder to accept that advice than if the counsel began with, “Have you considered…?” Or, “Tell me what else you have tried?”

And there it is. A sentence beginning with ‘you should’ is often a one-way opinion. Discussion is not really invited and perhaps, as a result, defenses are raised.

I have begun my fair share of sentences with “You should”. Awareness of my own negative response to ‘you should…’ has encouraged me to make it a personal challenge to either keep my mouth shut, or re-phase to keep the conversation two-sided. In a sense, I have told myself “You should stop saying ‘You should’”.

I hope you enjoyed reading this blog.  Your comments, questions, ideas and suggestions are always welcome.  You can comment here, or choose between Facebook, Twitter, or the contact button.  

Anne Milne is an every Sunday blogger.  I keep it short and to the point.  Topics are as wide ranging as a straight but not narrow path.